Using words to affirm the other person is a key way to express love.
e.g. “You look nice in that dress…”
“You did a good job with that assignment…”
“I appreciate you taking out the garbage…”
“I know you worked hard on this project and I want you to know that I sincerely
appreciate what you have done…”
There are thousands of ways to express affirmation by words. These affirmations may focus upon the person’s behavior, physical appearance, or personality. The words may be spoken, written, or even sung. To the people whose primary love language is words of affirmation such affirming word fall like a spring rain on barren soil.
2. Quality Time
Quality time is giving someone your individual attention.
e.g. with a small child, it is sitting on the floor rolling the ball back and forth
with a spouse, it is sitting on the couch, looking at each other and talking, or taking a
walk down the road just the two of you, or going out to eat together and looking and
talking to each other
for the single adult, quality time is planning an event with a friend where the two of
you can have some time to share your life with each other
The important thing is not the activity buy that the two of you have time together. When you have someone quality time, you are giving him or her a part of your life. It is a deep communication of love.
3. Gifts
Giving gifts is a universal expression of love. Gifts say “He was thinking about me. Look what he got for me”. Children, adults, and teenagers all appreciate gifts. For some people, gifts is their primary love language. Nothing makes them feel more loved than receiving a gift.
Gifts need not be expensive. You can pick up a colored twisted stone while hiking, taking it home and give it to a ten-year-old boy, tell him where you found it, and tell him you were thinking of him. I can almost guarantee you when he is 23, he will still have the stone in his dresser drawer.
4. Acts of Service
“Actions speak louder than words,” the old saying goes. That’s true for people whose primary love language is acts of service. Doing something that you know the other person would like for you to do is an expression of love. So is cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, mowing grass, cleaning the grill, giving the dog a bath, painting a bedroom, washing the car, and putting the chain back on a bicycle. The list could be endless. The person who speaks this language is always looking for things he can do for others.
To the person whose primary love language is acts of service, words many indeed be empty if they are not accompanied by acts of services. The husband says, “I love you,” and she’s thinking, If he loved me, he would do something around here. He may be sincere in his words of affirmation, but he is missing her emotionally because her language is acts of service; without it, she does not feel loved.
5. Physical Touch
We have long known the emotional power of physical touch. That’s why we pick up babies, hold them, cuddle them, and say all those silly words. And long before the child understands the meaning of love, the child feels loved by physical touch. Hugging and kissing a 6-year-old as he or she leaves for school in the morning is a way of filling the child’s love tank and thus preparing him for a day of learning
The Goal: A Full Love Tank
The key to making sure that your spouse, your children, your parents feel loved is to discover the primary love language of the other person and speak it consistently! If you speak her primary love language, her love tank will be full and she will be secure in your love. Then you can sprinkle in the other four and these will be “icing on the cake”. However, if you don’t speak a person’s primary love language, she(or he) will not feel loved even though you may be speaking some of the other languages.
by Gary Chapman
Good sharing!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLOVE IT!!!